The Better Way

So where am I now? I'm still rolling... just like my truck, things break, get fixed and life goes on... hey I may not be the most fuel efficient or pretty thing but I still get the job done... I may not have the biggest fastest motor but I can still get along just fine on the highway. Motorsports are just my thing... Ill probably end up doing something involving motor vehicles when I finally graduate and am flung headlong into the abyss that is today's society, out of the shelter of a Christian college and my friends that are so quick to pick me up when I need it. Well I guess they will still be there, but not full time. I cant have someone holding my hand after all but I digress. What are some things that truly bother me? betrayal... that is one thing that seems to torment me again and again, but why? do I set myself up for it or is it just something that happens to people that Ive been oblivious to... why to some people fall off... how do you create loyalty? Is there a better way to live that I am ignoring? probably... I can be rather selfish and that is a large block when it comes to building relationships.

Its been said that emotions are a sign of weakness. Instinct is something that takes over when emotions fail. It is designed to protect and preserve life, but at a cost. Intstinct creates focus, clarity to keep the mind at bay... This drive for accomplishment works wonders for large assignments and burdens, youll have them done before you know it... ah.. but thats the cost then isnt it. memories. when instinct kicks in... memory kicks out. sure work gets done. but how did it get done. how useful is life when we cant remember living it.

context is supposed to be one of my strengths... the ability to analyze past situations and apply them to the present. why is it then that my failures always seem to be repetitious. what kind of strength is also a weakness? is this a mistake... or an outfitting of stronger armor. is my steel being heated and quenched to create a more durable variety able to withstand much stronger blows. i guess only time will tell

I dont feel like im waiting for something anymore. im just walking. occasionally climbing. occasionally falling and rolling a bit.. but thats part of growing up... which im not really looking forward too.. because being a kid was easy. heck. it still is.

Lets try this again.

So this is my second attempt at a blog. My first was the everpresent myspace, which I deleted due to lack of usage which unfortunately resulted in the loss of some important thought. Thats what rash decisions get you I suppose. Anyways, for anyone who dares to treat the waters of my thoughs I give this disclaimer that I am a much better writer than speaker and can be dangerous, but I am not one to steward animosity or attack people.